New Years Eve Kiss -Interview for a Roomate
I met a young lady whom I saw from a far for a long time before I ever got to know her. She was a nervous kind of person I think; shy, but nervous with not much to say to me usually. She seemed to always have something to do or some place to go when I came around and often had a cigarette to smoke on the way as she left the house. I couldn’t figure out exactly what the situation was because she lived with one guy, Jim, but seemed to have another guy as a boy friend and he was just sort of a drop in kind of a guy that didn’t really light up any eyes when he showed up and there didn’t seem to be any spark anywhere with anyone when he showed up except with Jim who was a good buddy to the boy friend. I was Jim’s friend and Jim was really just a very good friend and just a roommate with this young lady in a platonic relationship, way too confusing.
I can’t remember saying ten words to this young lady over the course of a year or more, but I saw her now and again. There was nothing of note to attach to because all I can remember is the strange living situation, the cigarettes, the nervousness, the shyness, and oh yea the boy friend that really wasn’t there even when he was there as far as I could tell. There was more behind her eyes: something else happening but I never heard or saw enough of this young lady for me to see to learn more. I only saw enough to know there was something more, something intriguing, something beneath the surface, more than was being revealed. This was a person that might not be one to bet against in poker.
I can’t remember the order of things that occurred because chaos entered my life and time changed and my life turn upside down and inside out. After knowing Jim for a few years and thus knowing of this young lady for a few years my life went into a tail spin, crashed and burned. I talked to lots of people and talked to no one. I don’t know what happened or when. I do remember learning more about this young woman and even talking to her. She was very young, but had lived more than she needed too for someone her age. She knew too much about some things and nothing or way too little about many other things that were very vital for a person so smart to not know about. She understood how the world worked, but seemed to be missing some of the fundamental ways to easily navigate around in it using her resources she was blessed with, her brains. It was as if she had been raised in a different country or different society or different something from where I was raised. I was often baffled when I talked to her about things and found that she understood so much but seemed to do so little with it. So much potential here and yet it was not being directed towards anything that I could see as being a future. I probably had no right to judge at that time. In fact I had no right to judge. The phrase “barefoot and pregnant” comes to mind when I think of this young woman at that time, so bright getting trapped. Some big dumb fat slob sitting on a dirty couch screaming, “Yo, lady, Get, your daddy a beer and do it now!” while he watched the WWF on a TV that will never be paid off inside the old single-wide beat up trailer. I digress…There just seemed to be a potential here. Maybe this young lady just wasn’t aware of what was out there for her to strive for or that she could really become anything she wanted to become if she just thought it and wanted it.
I began to talk more with this young woman and even learned her name (I am very bad at names and learning a name is a big deal with me). She turned out to be a nervous, shy person with a lot below the surface that she kept hidden for not particular reason. The boyfriend seemed to be sort of a non-starter. He was never around and when he was, he really didn’t light up any eyes, his or hers. Jim enjoyed talking to him. I enjoyed talking and getting to know this enigmatically intriguing lady through my chaos. I enjoyed that someone enjoyed talking (actually listening to) with me. I also had a room available for someone to rent in the house I was living in and low and behold this new found friend was possibly in need of a place to move to because the living conditions at her condo were about to become tense. We were going to discuss this room rental at a party, a New Years Eve party I invited her to. I don’t think I invited her boy friend, but I don’t think I specifically said he couldn’t come to the party. I don’t really give parties and don’t really know who invited people to the party.
I remember the New Years Eve Party at my house and a lot of people there. Lots of people some wine and then New Year, the stroke of the New Year. Kiss a person close to you or something. A tradition that I had actually not participated in and had not even really heard of I think. Maybe I had not paid attention to that tradition before. But what the heck a new year, a new tradition. Oh, here is someone to bring in the New Year: a little kiss. The beautiful young shy, nervous woman happened to be very close at hand. Wow a little kiss? And the kiss didn’t end and it continued and moved into another room without ending, where it moved onto the floor and explored all sorts of permutations and variations and every kind of thing that could be said without words only wet emotional lips and tongues. Eventually bodies and hands were involved and after what must have been well into the new year hours when all the guests had left and there was no one else left in my house and very few things were left to our imagination and the last of the article of clothing was being removed slowly, romantically, and sensually, the young lady, friend and god willing lover, said she had to leave for a little while. Very strange. Very very strange, but who am I? and this is a new year and a new tradition I am unfamiliar with. Wow, like driving down the freeway at 90, having the door open and being pushed out. But done in a nice way by a very sweet person, friend and near lover: welcome to the world of dating in the 70’s.
Seemed to me a few hours later this beautiful young near friend and near lover returned and said everything was ok now. She had such high morals standards and such a high opinion of herself and her boyfriend that she just would not do something that she felt was dishonest or hurtful to another person so she left my house to break up with her boyfriend and then returned to take up the offer to move in to my house and rent my spare room since her house was about to become a bit tense with her roommate taking on a new romantic female roommate. That was unbelievable. Nobody is that honest, that moral, and that upstanding. I remember having gone to bed after saying good night after the three hour New Year kiss, a little confused, but definitely so happy that a beautiful young woman had found me lovable, consented to my advances, and shared a very passionate evening with me and did seem to enjoy herself except for that abrupt ending which was a trip stopper. I respected this woman no matter her motives that on this first evening of passion she did not allow things to go beyond a point she felt comfortable with, that she was able to control things and stop things and “deal with stuff”. Lord knows I could not do that. But knock, knock, knock a few hours later here she is back again. I didn’t expect that to happen.
I remember after answering the door in my boxer and seeing her there, we finished our New Years Eve kiss in more comfortable quarters with less encumberments. Bliss and heaven, warmth and peace. I had not slept really since early the day before and not since our kiss started at midnight. After stopping the kiss and going to bed, I lay there thinking and musing and wondering and enjoying, and reliving, and hoping, and longing, and just glowing all over. Now with the gorgeous reality of this lovely beauty beside me sleep only over took me when physically exhaustion set in and was only interrupted sometime either very late morning or early afternoon with a pounding on the front door. When I rose to answer the door, dressed in less than anything ready to kill whomever would be so rude as to pound on my door at that “early hour” of the “morning” (really 1pm) to wake me especially after such a blissful evening and to chance to wake the lady love who now slept so soundly at last, I swung open the door and there was the cousin of my lady love who had seen the Mustang driven by my lady and this helpful/nosey cousin thought she would stop and see if her cousin had stayed over or was going to rent the spare room at my house. Mumble, mumble, too early, “she’s here, still… sleeping… later… bye not now.” I don’t know if my new love was awake when I returned, but if she was not, I am sure that I awakened her nicely and romantically because I just could not let this beautiful creature sleep there without holding her and being held by her. Young and in love, so warm and trusting and so much a whole mind and body experience. To lie there in the arms of one you love and feel so complete and let sleep carry the two of you off to the dream world together on a ship of peace and contentment sails filled with love and trust. And to wake with the warm scent of the body of the person you love next to you, the feel of their body heat and the softness of their skin. To lie their and feel them breathing, smell their hair and just enjoy that glow in the pit of your stomach that sends fire to all parts of your soul. The smile in the morning when your love wakes up and realizes they have been sleeping and being watched with loving eyes and they reach for you and two becomes one. That is the explosion of new love that makes happens only once in a life time. We spent the whole day and night in bed. The cousin came by that evening and was shooed away and maybe came by the next day too. At some point someone had to go to work or get some food so someone had to get dressed and life had to begin again. It happened once in my life and I treasure it. Maybe I should not have gotten out of bed and not allowed my lady to get out of bed we should have stayed there and grown old together in that bliss.
Oh, starting off a relationship with a bang. An explosion: an atomic bomb.
This was beginning as a room rental at my place not really a move into my bed although after that started I would not have it any other way. I think she passed the interview for the room mate. She did not belong in the other room she belonged in my heart and close to me especially at night when we slept so we could talk and tell each other things before we went to the dream world. I saw that she completed me and the more I was around this friend the more I saw we complimented each others skills and abilities. At this time my lady was a chicken cutter at a factory and I didn’t know what her goals and life ambitions were. God that was awful. I couldn’t believe she did not have a long-term goal in mind. I assumed that college was what everyone thought of: go to high school, then to college, then to grad school and then a profession. If you don’t do too hot in college then maybe you skip the grad school and just get a job after college, or go to two years of business school. Cutting chickens? Job out of high school? What is that all about? I talked to my new roommate now lover friend buddy and had to convince her that she could take care of a lot of my finances and book keeping which I had no clue about while taking some classes at Modesto Junior College. It seems that I had to do some convincing to get her to come over to this idea. She did not want to be beholden to someone, being “supported” by someone else, and I think there was a little bit of reluctance because she might not have seen herself as a college student. I was so happy when she decided to try it for a while, taking classes at college and paying the bills and keeping track of all the household finances.
My new college student started out wanting to be a librarian. I think she chose this direction because it allowed her a place where she could hide in the stacks of books and read the books and learn stuff. If all those smart people were out there she could hide from them and at least learn stuff by reading. If someone questioned her about something she could look it up and get back to them with an answer, “Ha! See how much I know!” She could interact with people only as much as she wanted to and not much at all if she didn’t want to. A good way to lay low and not be seen if that is what she wanted. Stay out of the radar.
All the learning she was doing was changing her. She was brightening up. She was gaining confidence in herself and seeing that she was one of the smartest people in the class and a person that was cut out for this kind of education. My lady love fit into this college life and there were a lot of people like her on the campus. I think she was discovering that there were a lot of options in the world that she had not consider before that were open to her and she could now begin to consider a much wider world. This brainy woman was living in a world that was bigger and better and held a lot more hope for her and because of that she had a lot more love to offer the world around her. Being close to her made me a recipient of a lot of that hope and love.
College sets its programs up in a very smart way. They make a person try a lot of things to get through the general program. In the process of trying all the courses for being Madame Librarian little miss college student took a “science course” or some sort of course to fulfill a requirement across the street in the Ag building. That was a place I never went when I went to MJC. The Ag building and the Forestry program changed everything. This introduced an inspirational teacher and a subject to an open mind at just the right time. That is the best education can do and the best set up possible a professor. When education works best it is when a mind has been prepared to meet the teacher and the subject and the two mesh to inspire a person to change the direction of their life and do something great. This happened to my lady love now college student. She became inspired, so inspired with the directional change that after her education she went on to opened a nursery and severed the needs of people for years because of the classes she took, and to this day she is inspired with nature and plants. I saw that change in her when it was happening. She became a Whaler, the followers of the professor of forestry, Dr. Whaley, which inspired a generation of students. His brand of teaching and his followers were propelled up the hill, the Sierra Mountains, to take over stewardship, of the forests and needs of the people who wanted to have something to do with plants and nature.
I got to watch the mind of a young woman open to new ideas and then be watered with controversy, discussion, and intelligent conversation. Doors were opened to new promises for futures never dreamed of. A young lady gained confidence in herself and found a new love in life and direction of endeavor. My lady’s eyes were always alight with the new things that she was learning, new ideas, or something that was puzzling her she had to figure out. This was a thinking being, a person who had the world in front of her and was going to do anything she put her mind to. The little tunnel that use to be her future had suddenly just opened up.
When you are inspired by some great
purpose, some extraordinary project,
all your thoughts break their bounds:
Your mind transcends limitations,
your consciousness expands in every direction,
and you find yourself in a new, great
And wonderful world.
Dormant forces, faculties and talents
become alive, and you discover yourself
to be a greater person by far
than you ever dreamed
yourself to be
Patanjali
(C.First to Third Century B.C.)
(Author of the Yoga Sutras)
The greater danger
for most of us
is not that our aim is
to high
and we miss it,
but that it is
too low
and we reach it.
Michelangelo
(1475-1564)
I can’t remember saying ten words to this young lady over the course of a year or more, but I saw her now and again. There was nothing of note to attach to because all I can remember is the strange living situation, the cigarettes, the nervousness, the shyness, and oh yea the boy friend that really wasn’t there even when he was there as far as I could tell. There was more behind her eyes: something else happening but I never heard or saw enough of this young lady for me to see to learn more. I only saw enough to know there was something more, something intriguing, something beneath the surface, more than was being revealed. This was a person that might not be one to bet against in poker.
I can’t remember the order of things that occurred because chaos entered my life and time changed and my life turn upside down and inside out. After knowing Jim for a few years and thus knowing of this young lady for a few years my life went into a tail spin, crashed and burned. I talked to lots of people and talked to no one. I don’t know what happened or when. I do remember learning more about this young woman and even talking to her. She was very young, but had lived more than she needed too for someone her age. She knew too much about some things and nothing or way too little about many other things that were very vital for a person so smart to not know about. She understood how the world worked, but seemed to be missing some of the fundamental ways to easily navigate around in it using her resources she was blessed with, her brains. It was as if she had been raised in a different country or different society or different something from where I was raised. I was often baffled when I talked to her about things and found that she understood so much but seemed to do so little with it. So much potential here and yet it was not being directed towards anything that I could see as being a future. I probably had no right to judge at that time. In fact I had no right to judge. The phrase “barefoot and pregnant” comes to mind when I think of this young woman at that time, so bright getting trapped. Some big dumb fat slob sitting on a dirty couch screaming, “Yo, lady, Get, your daddy a beer and do it now!” while he watched the WWF on a TV that will never be paid off inside the old single-wide beat up trailer. I digress…There just seemed to be a potential here. Maybe this young lady just wasn’t aware of what was out there for her to strive for or that she could really become anything she wanted to become if she just thought it and wanted it.
I began to talk more with this young woman and even learned her name (I am very bad at names and learning a name is a big deal with me). She turned out to be a nervous, shy person with a lot below the surface that she kept hidden for not particular reason. The boyfriend seemed to be sort of a non-starter. He was never around and when he was, he really didn’t light up any eyes, his or hers. Jim enjoyed talking to him. I enjoyed talking and getting to know this enigmatically intriguing lady through my chaos. I enjoyed that someone enjoyed talking (actually listening to) with me. I also had a room available for someone to rent in the house I was living in and low and behold this new found friend was possibly in need of a place to move to because the living conditions at her condo were about to become tense. We were going to discuss this room rental at a party, a New Years Eve party I invited her to. I don’t think I invited her boy friend, but I don’t think I specifically said he couldn’t come to the party. I don’t really give parties and don’t really know who invited people to the party.
I remember the New Years Eve Party at my house and a lot of people there. Lots of people some wine and then New Year, the stroke of the New Year. Kiss a person close to you or something. A tradition that I had actually not participated in and had not even really heard of I think. Maybe I had not paid attention to that tradition before. But what the heck a new year, a new tradition. Oh, here is someone to bring in the New Year: a little kiss. The beautiful young shy, nervous woman happened to be very close at hand. Wow a little kiss? And the kiss didn’t end and it continued and moved into another room without ending, where it moved onto the floor and explored all sorts of permutations and variations and every kind of thing that could be said without words only wet emotional lips and tongues. Eventually bodies and hands were involved and after what must have been well into the new year hours when all the guests had left and there was no one else left in my house and very few things were left to our imagination and the last of the article of clothing was being removed slowly, romantically, and sensually, the young lady, friend and god willing lover, said she had to leave for a little while. Very strange. Very very strange, but who am I? and this is a new year and a new tradition I am unfamiliar with. Wow, like driving down the freeway at 90, having the door open and being pushed out. But done in a nice way by a very sweet person, friend and near lover: welcome to the world of dating in the 70’s.
Seemed to me a few hours later this beautiful young near friend and near lover returned and said everything was ok now. She had such high morals standards and such a high opinion of herself and her boyfriend that she just would not do something that she felt was dishonest or hurtful to another person so she left my house to break up with her boyfriend and then returned to take up the offer to move in to my house and rent my spare room since her house was about to become a bit tense with her roommate taking on a new romantic female roommate. That was unbelievable. Nobody is that honest, that moral, and that upstanding. I remember having gone to bed after saying good night after the three hour New Year kiss, a little confused, but definitely so happy that a beautiful young woman had found me lovable, consented to my advances, and shared a very passionate evening with me and did seem to enjoy herself except for that abrupt ending which was a trip stopper. I respected this woman no matter her motives that on this first evening of passion she did not allow things to go beyond a point she felt comfortable with, that she was able to control things and stop things and “deal with stuff”. Lord knows I could not do that. But knock, knock, knock a few hours later here she is back again. I didn’t expect that to happen.
I remember after answering the door in my boxer and seeing her there, we finished our New Years Eve kiss in more comfortable quarters with less encumberments. Bliss and heaven, warmth and peace. I had not slept really since early the day before and not since our kiss started at midnight. After stopping the kiss and going to bed, I lay there thinking and musing and wondering and enjoying, and reliving, and hoping, and longing, and just glowing all over. Now with the gorgeous reality of this lovely beauty beside me sleep only over took me when physically exhaustion set in and was only interrupted sometime either very late morning or early afternoon with a pounding on the front door. When I rose to answer the door, dressed in less than anything ready to kill whomever would be so rude as to pound on my door at that “early hour” of the “morning” (really 1pm) to wake me especially after such a blissful evening and to chance to wake the lady love who now slept so soundly at last, I swung open the door and there was the cousin of my lady love who had seen the Mustang driven by my lady and this helpful/nosey cousin thought she would stop and see if her cousin had stayed over or was going to rent the spare room at my house. Mumble, mumble, too early, “she’s here, still… sleeping… later… bye not now.” I don’t know if my new love was awake when I returned, but if she was not, I am sure that I awakened her nicely and romantically because I just could not let this beautiful creature sleep there without holding her and being held by her. Young and in love, so warm and trusting and so much a whole mind and body experience. To lie there in the arms of one you love and feel so complete and let sleep carry the two of you off to the dream world together on a ship of peace and contentment sails filled with love and trust. And to wake with the warm scent of the body of the person you love next to you, the feel of their body heat and the softness of their skin. To lie their and feel them breathing, smell their hair and just enjoy that glow in the pit of your stomach that sends fire to all parts of your soul. The smile in the morning when your love wakes up and realizes they have been sleeping and being watched with loving eyes and they reach for you and two becomes one. That is the explosion of new love that makes happens only once in a life time. We spent the whole day and night in bed. The cousin came by that evening and was shooed away and maybe came by the next day too. At some point someone had to go to work or get some food so someone had to get dressed and life had to begin again. It happened once in my life and I treasure it. Maybe I should not have gotten out of bed and not allowed my lady to get out of bed we should have stayed there and grown old together in that bliss.
Oh, starting off a relationship with a bang. An explosion: an atomic bomb.
This was beginning as a room rental at my place not really a move into my bed although after that started I would not have it any other way. I think she passed the interview for the room mate. She did not belong in the other room she belonged in my heart and close to me especially at night when we slept so we could talk and tell each other things before we went to the dream world. I saw that she completed me and the more I was around this friend the more I saw we complimented each others skills and abilities. At this time my lady was a chicken cutter at a factory and I didn’t know what her goals and life ambitions were. God that was awful. I couldn’t believe she did not have a long-term goal in mind. I assumed that college was what everyone thought of: go to high school, then to college, then to grad school and then a profession. If you don’t do too hot in college then maybe you skip the grad school and just get a job after college, or go to two years of business school. Cutting chickens? Job out of high school? What is that all about? I talked to my new roommate now lover friend buddy and had to convince her that she could take care of a lot of my finances and book keeping which I had no clue about while taking some classes at Modesto Junior College. It seems that I had to do some convincing to get her to come over to this idea. She did not want to be beholden to someone, being “supported” by someone else, and I think there was a little bit of reluctance because she might not have seen herself as a college student. I was so happy when she decided to try it for a while, taking classes at college and paying the bills and keeping track of all the household finances.
My new college student started out wanting to be a librarian. I think she chose this direction because it allowed her a place where she could hide in the stacks of books and read the books and learn stuff. If all those smart people were out there she could hide from them and at least learn stuff by reading. If someone questioned her about something she could look it up and get back to them with an answer, “Ha! See how much I know!” She could interact with people only as much as she wanted to and not much at all if she didn’t want to. A good way to lay low and not be seen if that is what she wanted. Stay out of the radar.
All the learning she was doing was changing her. She was brightening up. She was gaining confidence in herself and seeing that she was one of the smartest people in the class and a person that was cut out for this kind of education. My lady love fit into this college life and there were a lot of people like her on the campus. I think she was discovering that there were a lot of options in the world that she had not consider before that were open to her and she could now begin to consider a much wider world. This brainy woman was living in a world that was bigger and better and held a lot more hope for her and because of that she had a lot more love to offer the world around her. Being close to her made me a recipient of a lot of that hope and love.
College sets its programs up in a very smart way. They make a person try a lot of things to get through the general program. In the process of trying all the courses for being Madame Librarian little miss college student took a “science course” or some sort of course to fulfill a requirement across the street in the Ag building. That was a place I never went when I went to MJC. The Ag building and the Forestry program changed everything. This introduced an inspirational teacher and a subject to an open mind at just the right time. That is the best education can do and the best set up possible a professor. When education works best it is when a mind has been prepared to meet the teacher and the subject and the two mesh to inspire a person to change the direction of their life and do something great. This happened to my lady love now college student. She became inspired, so inspired with the directional change that after her education she went on to opened a nursery and severed the needs of people for years because of the classes she took, and to this day she is inspired with nature and plants. I saw that change in her when it was happening. She became a Whaler, the followers of the professor of forestry, Dr. Whaley, which inspired a generation of students. His brand of teaching and his followers were propelled up the hill, the Sierra Mountains, to take over stewardship, of the forests and needs of the people who wanted to have something to do with plants and nature.
I got to watch the mind of a young woman open to new ideas and then be watered with controversy, discussion, and intelligent conversation. Doors were opened to new promises for futures never dreamed of. A young lady gained confidence in herself and found a new love in life and direction of endeavor. My lady’s eyes were always alight with the new things that she was learning, new ideas, or something that was puzzling her she had to figure out. This was a thinking being, a person who had the world in front of her and was going to do anything she put her mind to. The little tunnel that use to be her future had suddenly just opened up.
When you are inspired by some great
purpose, some extraordinary project,
all your thoughts break their bounds:
Your mind transcends limitations,
your consciousness expands in every direction,
and you find yourself in a new, great
And wonderful world.
Dormant forces, faculties and talents
become alive, and you discover yourself
to be a greater person by far
than you ever dreamed
yourself to be
Patanjali
(C.First to Third Century B.C.)
(Author of the Yoga Sutras)
The greater danger
for most of us
is not that our aim is
to high
and we miss it,
but that it is
too low
and we reach it.
Michelangelo
(1475-1564)
posted by meters1600 at 9:15 PM
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